Lots of up and down - I am really trying to just give in to that as the structure of my life right now...to ride the waves, essentially...Some bits from the last few days:
- My interview went extremely well. But there is some...er, complication around that, which I will no doubt post more about if an offer materializes.
- Oh, the roller coaster with soon-to-be-ex GF. Right this very minute we're okay...But it honestly changes day to day. The next challenge for us is to spend Christmas together in New York. That's right, folks...we are spending four days there, just the two of us, from the 22nd to the 26th. Good lord. This is, of course, a plan that predates the meltdown of the relationship over the last five weeks. But I actually have some confidence in us - that we'll be able to weather it and spend some bittersweet but good time together at the end of our relationship. Sound crazy?
- The thought of moving out of this beloved place in a month exhausts and terrifies me.
- Saw a close friend, S, last night. We drank way, way too much red wine at an obnoxious art gallery opening and then a noisy bar. S is an old and dear friend; I always say that she is the closest thing to a sister in this only child's life. That is, we drive each other crazy in a way that I wouldn't tolerate with anyone else, but love each other to pieces. Anyway, we were out with her boyfriend, as well. This was the first real time I've spent with boyfriend since he was exceptionally rude to me over a year ago, and then proceeded to break S's heart by being a first-class ass. I was not feelin' the love for him, you know? But now he's come back to Canada (he's from the UK) and they're trying again, so what can I do but be supportive? I didn't know if I had it in me, but we spent a very long evening together last night, without incident. I like this; I like being able to let go of that anger. It is cathartic and necessary.
- I have coordinated a panel that I am so proud to propose, for Congress 2007 (for those of you US folks who don't know what it is, it's like an academic super-conference that happens every spring at a different university; the meetings of 70+ different scholarly associations over 10 days). This is with my colleague Flake and good friend, M. I mentioned it here when it was but the germ of an idea. Now it's a full, ready-to-go proposal that I've drafted, and the other two are really behind the way I've framed it, and I'm so damn excited. It's a great panel, I think. Yay! I can't wait to go hang out on the prairies with them, too.
- My birthday and New Year's loom, a day apart. I will spend them without GF, for the first time in five years. That makes me really, really sad. But I have hatched a plan to spend a quiet country New Year's with my friend M, and that makes me happy. He is having a brutal time right now, and we have found each other a good source of support lately. I think it will do us good to spend New Year's together.
- I love bloggers. Tomorrow I'm going to go over to grumpyabdadjunct's to look at some furniture I may be able to take off her hands, to use in my new, furniture-less life. Later this week I am hoping to have a meetup with another blogger, Sarah, whom I've not met before. And next week I'm going to have a visit with Medieval Woman. I would never have imagined, when I started this, how wonderful a source of support and friendship you would all be. Thank you!