I know I've been unusually quiet these last few days. On Friday morning I left for a visit in Nearest Metropolis. My very good friend, who usually lives in European City, is here for the year. I haven't seen her in going on two years. It's been sooooo lovely...we talk and talk and talk and talk. We have some personality traits in common, and they're anxious, silly, little tics that nobody else I know shares. It is always wonderful to be around someone who is, well, a freak like me in this regard. And she is just.so.wonderful overall.
So it's fantastic to be in this city - parts of which I know quite well, from having spend a significant chunk of time here - with her. I got to dance on Friday night. On Saturday night, we went out for my friend's birthday - urban wine bar, cozy, candlelit - a group of eight. Such a fun night. As I told her, love collects around her. I always feel that when I'm with her - I get to meet these fantastic people through her, usually in her European City, where I've visted her three times. People who are drawn to her loveliness, and who are similarly lovely. Though I know she has an unsettled life, and that's sometimes frustrating, she's also so fortunate to have these networks - all over two continents - of fabulousness.
Being here, in the Metropolis, has been interesting. Yesterday, as we were at a crowded cultural event, I felt a little teary for a brief moment. "This is what I need," I thought. "This is who I am." I recognized that I cannot live for the rest of my life - or even for very long - in SCwP. I will leave academia, if I need to, to live in an environment that nourishes me. I'm not saying any of this is imminent. But I know this can't be forever.