A student of mine came by to see me this afternoon. She sat down and just chatted. She is a wonderfully engaged student from my theory class. She said that she'd run into another professor from our department at her workplace in a fabric store, and told this colleague of mine, "You have to hire Hilaire back!!" That was very nice to hear. She asked me about whether I'd be there next year and I told her that because the uni doesn't have TT job in my field that I can apply for, it's unlikely that I'll be back unless I don't get a TT job somewhere else.
Then she said she was disappointed because she'd wanted to ask me if I'd do a Directed Reading course with her next year.
Can I just tell you, it makes me want to cry and scream and stomp my feet in frustration that I can't do this with her.
I know, I know, you're raising your eyebrows - I know lots of you hate and resent directed reading courses. It's probably just because I am not yet jaded, am still full of enthusiasm about most things in this profession...but I love the idea of doing a directed study course with a student I like. The idea of working with her to narrow her interests, collaborating on a list of readings, and having occasional meetings to talk about things - I love it. I actually also see it as a real learning opportunity for me, on a whole lot of different levels. Perhaps this is because I did so goddamned many of these directed reading courses, especially as a grad student - I found them really rewarding. Anyway, boo hoo.
Sigh. Damn, I wish I could stay here.