I cannot really function. I feel itchy and crawly all over...and totally not myself. I feel totally alienated from myself. I wouldn't have expected to have such a strong reaction. What the hell is wrong with me? I guess it really is a deep phobia. What a bloody wimp.
Anyway, I just realized that with feeling like this I could NOT handle the ridiculously overlong bus ride. I would probably be completely insane by the end of it. The reason I had taken the bus instead of flying in the first place was that I am trying not to fly whenever I can...trying to reduce that carbon footprint. But I just said, fuck it. I just booked the flight for 2 1/2 hours from now. Carbon emissions and all. Sigh. Oh well. I can't wait to be in my own home, and to try and relax.