Thursday, March 20, 2008

Ugh

I mean, honestly. Just when you think things are feeling better in your life - that you are getting there, after the Most Horrible Winter Ever...

Got called into the doctor's office this afternoon, following the ultrasound I had on Tuesday after that awful episode of pain a couple of weeks ago. I walked out with an appointment with a gynecologist next week, and more specialized blood tests. Because I have a two-inch tumour on my right ovary. And the report, which I looked at with the (very lovely) doctor, says it looks like it might be cancerous.

I left with a prescription for ativan and contemplated the next week. I'm really trying not to think about what the next months might look like. Because right now it's all only a might.

R is here. We leave on our two-day getaway tomorrow, but I am afraid it won't involve much relaxing. Bloody hell.

Anyway. Dramatic news, eh? Will keep you posted, you all. Have a good long weekend!

32 comments:

Brigindo said...

Oh Hilaire that's scary news. I know it's hard but do try not to think about it and enjoy your weekend...it is only a might and could so easily be something far less scary.

I'm thinking nothing but positive thoughts for you.

kermitthefrog said...

((Hilaire))

I hope you enjoy the weekend, relax, and come back to a week of good news.

heu mihi said...

Oh no--I'm so sorry. Lots of love your way, okay? It'll be all right. I hope that you can manage a few days of relaxing and not thinking about things despite all of this.

(((((((Hilaire!)))))))

Dr. Crazy said...

How scary! Sending a giant hug your way, and hoping that things are not what they seem.

luckybuzz said...

Sending lots of good thoughts your way, and hoping your next news on this is good news.

Dr. Bad Ass said...

Don't these things just hit like a ton of bricks? I'm hoping, like the others, that things are not as bad as they could be. Sending you hugs to try to help --

Maude Lebowski said...

(((((((((hilaire))))))))

oh girl! i'm so so very sorry! hugs, thoughts, prayers (of a more secular kind if that's okay), everything good and positive are being sent your way.

on the brighter side (?), a) you're going out of town to a beautiful place, and b) at least now you know why you've been in pain and you begin to get better.


take care of yourself!! we're all here for you!

Thoroughly Educated said...

Oh, my dear, this really has been an annus horribilissimus! I am hereby devoting an entire Triduum's worth of mental energy to sending you good thoughts. I'm glad R will be there.

squadratomagico said...

Oh no! I'm with Maude, sending "secular prayers" your way.

Much love to you, dear Hilaire.

(((((hugs)))) [And I have a reputation as a champion hugger IRL, so take that into consideration when reading this.]

Anonymous said...

Oh no! This is very scary news but I am sending lots of good vibes for a positive outcome. If you need anything, please feel free to lean on me...

-DN

What Now? said...

Hilaire, this is so scary! Prayers ascending for you.

Margo, darling said...

Holy shit! So glad you got into the doctors asap. Sending huge affection and warmest, warmest thoughts.

Fifi Bluestocking said...

Oh Hilaire - so sorry about this. Sending lots of positive thoughts, if you will accept them from a well-meaning stranger.

Hilaire said...

Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate it immensely. I will try to have a nice time. We leave shortly and the weather is stunning. Even the drive there is gorgeous.

See you soon.

plam said...

Oh no! I hope that more information makes the situation look better, and that your weekend is as good as possible under the circumstances.

Susan said...

Hilaire, good luck, and I hope your break is a real break. I'll say here what was first said to me when my husband was diagnosed with cancer: for many now it's a chronic disease that is managed. Which doesn't make it much easier -- chemo and radiation are horrible -- but is more hopeful than the death sentence we feel when we hear "cancer". So my thoughts are with you...

Marcelle Proust said...

Sacre bleu. What are you doing commiserating with my whines? Fibromyalgia is a minor nuisance. Here's hoping your thing is really a benign cyst or something manageable. Bon courage!

Pantagruelle said...

Yikes! How awful. Try to hang in there until you know for sure. My mom had a huge tumor a few months ago that they said had a 99% chance of being cancerous, but it turned out that it wasn't, so you just never know with these things. Try to think positive for now, ok, and do enjoy your weekend with R. I'm glad to hear that she's there to spend time with you.

Psychgrad said...

Oh geez. I really hope it's a false alarm. I'm sure you do too.

I hope you were able to enjoy your getaway with R.

Please us posted. ((Hilaire))

Bardiac said...

Hilaire, I'm just catching up, and so sad to read this. My fingers are crossed that you get the best news possible when they find out more.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Earnest English said...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(that's my first, totally non-helpful, response)

What's there to say? I hope it's a total mistake, that the doctors are totally wrong, and that somehow you can have a lovely weekend with R.

{{{{{{{{{Hilaire!!!}}}}}}}}

Earnest English said...

I tagged you for a meme when you get back from your weekend in hopes that it will provide you with an interesting diversion -- and maybe even an outlet.

Belle said...

(((((((Hilaire!)))))))

Late, but sincere. Hope your weekend is/was good, and that you find some peace. All attending deities being sought out for good things.

dbm/gaa said...

Bloody hell is right, no, that is just too much. Please try not to worry, I'll do that for you.

Feck hilaire, hang in there.

dbm/gaa said...

Oh, and consider very carefully whether or not to give up that second ovary if the choice is given to you.

neophyte said...

But surely you must be storing up years and years and years' worth of good karma. Think of that -- this will all end, eventually, and from then you will lead a blessed life.

Many many hugs, m'dear.

medieval woman said...

Oh my god, sweetie - I'm just now reading this on Sunday morning!!! Please take care and do keep us posted!!!

((hilaire))

sunt_lacrimae_rerum said...

Terrifying news. I am so sorry to read this. Your stiff upper lip can bend a bit if it needs to, I hope.

Wishing you the best,

from somebody who has not read Chaucer since 1974 but still loves the medievalists,

I will return to see how it goes.

khora said...

Sending good wishes with all of might, lovely Hilaire.

JustMe said...

i'm so sorry, hugs, lots of hugs for you.

New Kid on the Hallway said...

Very belatedly, I'm so sorry! I hope it turns out to be benign! How awful and scary!

(And I was so sure I left this message last week! darn blogger...)

muse said...

Oh hilaire, that's really really scary. You have all of our virtual support. Please keep us updated.