I felt strangely liberated this weekend, after the events of last week. Even though the event that took place on Friday night - a band at the campus pub, a band that had traveled to be here - was very poorly attended because the student union and pub management, which were supposed to publicize it, did nothing of the sort. The whole evening was an embarrassing debacle, and my poor colleague who was coordinating this event was horrified. Actually, no, it wasn't an embarrassing debacle in all ways...the band was great, and those of us who were there had a great time.
But the clean-up now involves me going around begging for money to pay the rest of their fee because the take at the door was so low. I feel like forcing the pub people, who totally dropped the ball and didn't do what they said they would do, to pay it. The bastards.
Notwithstanding that, I've felt rather happy this weekend. Rather free. It's amazing how much these events were hanging over my head, for weeks and weeks.
But these are some observations:
- I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why clothing stores don't invest in some better mirror/lighting action in their changerooms. Winners - where I seem to buy many of my clothes these days - is the worst culprit. I feel like a monster every time I see myself in front of their changeroom mirrors. Yesterday was the worst time ever...I left very disturbed by, well, myself. I just don't get it. Isn't it in the interest of the stores to have better bloody situations going on back there? Good grief.
- On that note, I feel like I've aged five years in the seven and a half months since I've been in Scary City. Part of it is the weather/environment here, which is terrible for my skin. Part of it is surely stress. And I suppose the other part is just...getting older. I have had a very annoying crisis about all of this lately - you know, annoying because one wants to be over the body image shit when one can deconstruct it all intellectually. I didn't realize I'd be so bothered by aging.
- I went to a comedy show last night with my non-academic friends, this couple I heart very much. I don't really know how I've so lucky as to fall in with them...One of them owns a store that I adore because it feels incredibly urban - as if it is not in Scary City - and hence feels like HOME. I started going to her store regularly in August, and we just got to chatting a lot, and I've bought things from her and now she and her girlfriend and I are new best friends and they seem to be cultivating me or whatever. Which is lovely. Anyway, so, we went on a little road trip to go to this women's comedy show in another city, featuring a very well known comic from Home City whose performances I've seen many a time. This person was headlining this packed show. She's an out lesbian. Given the dearth of queer culture where I live, I was excited - so were we all.
Well. Three comics opened for the headlining lesbian. The first made a racist joke. The second made a joke about lesbians...which included the following gems [all this offensiveness in one joke - that's efficient], "I went to my first lesbian wedding, and I needed to find a way to show them I was straight" and "I wanted to show them that this wedding ring on my finger actually meant something" [!!!!!!!!!!] and "I decided to wear a short skirt - to show I'm straight - and not shave my legs, to show I'm lesbian-friendly." And no, this most definitely wasn't satire.
How could this be?? A famous lesbian comic is preceded by homophobic jokes?? Only in Scary City, I tell you. Thankfully, the audience seemed put off by this - though they seemed to be enjoying the rest of her pathetic and completely unfunny act. And they did love the lesbian comic and give her a standing ovation. But still. Totally, totally disheartening. It's things like this that estrange me from this place, that make me want to flee. Take my urban-store-owning lesbian friends and make a break back to Home City where I don't have all these moments of feeling like I'm from another frigging planet.