Tuesday, February 19, 2008

5 Random trip things

The lovely Psychgrad tagged me for a Random Facts meme.

Here are the rules:1. Link to your tagger and post these rules. 2. Share 5 facts about yourself.3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Since I haven't posted for days, I'll twist it slightly. I'll give you five random facts about my trip to date.

1. I had been having back troubles for the last couple of weeks, before I left for Home City. In the same general vein as the debacle of last summer, though less severe. I hadn't been doing anything about it (bad, I know) just because I was coping and getting by. Running was aggravating it. Anyway, my long plane rides home fixed it. I kid you not - sitting on the plane for many hours seemed to be exactly what my back needed. I began the journey hurting - I ended it pain-free. And that has continued. Weird.

2. It's very sad to be here without Mr. K. Very sad. I can't get used to his loss. The place feels soooo empty without him. I continue to be haunted by the day of his death - I just don't feel right about the way it unfolded. Being here brings it into sharper focus.

3. Staying in and watching eight episodes of a TV show on DVD, as R and I did on Sunday - it was disgusting, foul weather - is a really bad idea for me. It depresses me beyond belief.

4. I have been returning, in my research lately, to the very questions that, ten years ago, set me on the research path I'm still on. I sort of got sidetracked from those questions in my PhD, but I suppose I never resolved them for myself - I wasn't capable of doing so maturely at the MA level. So it's interesting to be re-entering this territory from this more, well, schooled perspective. To finish what I started. Because I realize that the book project I'm undertaking now is really that - where I was trying to go, in my MA, but had no idea how to get to.

5. In some ways, I see, it messes me up to come to Home City. One week here isn't enough, I'm just so aware of all the people I'm not able to see - and I'm not back until July. I feel as if my relationships will slip away. Are, already.

Now, the rules say I'm supposed to tag five people. I'm going to be a rule-breaker and just encourage you to give me (us) some random facts, without tagging you specifically.


Psychgrad said...

Thanks for playing Hilaire! I'm glad you posted about how your trip is going, so far. I pretty much tagged you for an excuse to hear how you were doing.

Sounds like a mix of positive and negative things. Glad that your back is feeling better. I'm surprised that a plane ride helped.

I know you were concerned about how you would feel being back at home without Mr. K there. I hope that with each trip it gets "easier". From an outsider's perspective, I think Mr. K's passing will not be as raw (if the term "raw" makes sense) when you forgive yourself for the way things unfolded. You really were great to Mr. K. How many people would fly to another city if a family pet was ill? How many people leave an article of clothing with their scent on it for their dog to remember them by? Mr. K was very lucky to have such caring parents.

I'm trying to come to terms with relationships slipping. Likely, many relationships would slip even if everyone remained in the same city. But, it's sad to see how distance changes friendships. I keep telling myself that it's ok for friendships to come and go (i.e., to represent a certain time in your life).

Sfrajett said...

So sorry about Mr. K. Dogs' lives are so heartbreakingly brief, but they really give us our lives. I know when my dog died I felt like the part of me that had been young with her went where she did, released far away from me down a dirt road somewhere. We used to run together every day,and my life has not been the same since she ran on ahead without me. But I wouldn't trade what she gave me for the world. I think of her every day, and i can't wait until I have another dog again. This doesn't mean I don't still love her, or that I will ever forget her. It only means that she taught me that some kinds of love are worth working on your whole life. Like, the love between a person and a dog. Most excellent. Run far, Mr. K! You earned your reward for doing a wonderful job in your life on earth.

Hilaire said...

Thanks, Psychgrad and Sfragett. :)