Speaking from my position in the Humanities/Social Sciences here…
Last night I went to the World AIDS Conference to wander around the part that’s open to the public, the Global Village . I must admit that sometimes I am envious of people who do work that demands thought and rigor, but also carries with it a sense of urgency, and indeed a great need to get right down to things immediately. There are 26,000 delegates from all over the world at this conference. It is more truly international than any conference I will ever attend. I know from glimpses of the politics of the thing that this world of AIDS research and activism I walked into is not perfect. It is riddled with cynicism over promised yet never forthcoming money, the appearances of the Bills (Clinton and Gates) at this conference, frustrating fights about treatment vs. prevention, wars with pharma companies, the neo-colonial status of afflicted African countries… But still. There was energy there. There was commitment and purpose. There were people really talking to each other across constituencies and cultures.
I compare this feeling to the one I get when I attend conferences, which are always just so…blech, really…just pulsing with people’s anxieties about jobs, appearances (on many levels), relationships. I may be mistaken, but it seems to me there’s much less room, in a conference like AIDS 2006, to worry about jobs, appearances, relationships. Because the stakes are so high, the consequences of not getting down to business too devastating.
This isn’t an anti-intellectual rant. The things I write and teach are theoretical and historical, and I’ve reconciled myself to what that means. I think it’s important, and I am a staunch defender of theory’s place in the academy and the world. But damn. Sometimes I miss the feeling that things are moving, that the intellectual work I do is will have immediate, concrete benefits in people’s lives.
That’s all.
5 comments:
I don't know whether this will actually make you feel any better/differently, but my closest friend works in AIDS policy, and as much as he believes in the big-picture stuff--and even though he plans to stay in the field in some capacity for the long-term--it's a total drag on a daily basis, same as most jobs. Local, state, federal bureaucracy to the nth degree. Personality conflicts. Collosal mismanagement of funds, resources, and time. People living with the disease who take unbelievable advantage of the system. Scammers. You name it, he's seen it.
I suppose it's a testament to the commitment of him and his many friends and colleagues in the field that they're still doing it, but damn if they don't often sound more cynical and impatient than we academics do, at our worst moments, discussing our students!
You're so right, Flavia. I hear similar things from a friend who has spent over a decade working for various non-profit women's organizations - the stories she tells about people's kookiness and megalomania in that field are shocking! I guess it's the sense of urgency I want to feel, from time to time, but if it's usually about impatience and disappointment...yuck!
Anyway, this has me thinking about a way to concretize something action-ish in one of my courses that starts in January...so going to AIDS 2006 was good in this sense, getting me thinking about how I can transfer some comparable energy into the classroom.
I know exactly what you mean. This is one of the things I like about law school. And yet . . .it is so important to care about inessential things, too. One of the luxuries of life. So far, the most passionate conversations I've had with other new law students are about . . . literature. And the passion is on their end as much or more than mine. I guess the trick is balance, somehow?
I'm organizing my fall course around globalization and have planned a unit on AIDS narratives. I often try to tie courses into "urgent" issues, with mixed results so far... The continuing work on the diss affects how I feel about all this since I'm balancing what I feel the work that comes from my soul with that that needs to get done for the credential. I have to agree, though, there is so much that is about pretense at our conferences.
Sfragett: Yes, life's luxuries - and they're *important*. This is what we need to remember - that such pleasures *matter*, too.
Texter: I'll email you about a potential reference for your course...it'll just take a few hours as I'm off for a brunch/dog walking date...
Post a Comment