February hope

Days like today are why I like February.

February and November are always cited as the months people hate the most. I have never minded either, though - especially not February. To me, January is the month from hell. It's like one long, dark hangover after a not especially fun party (that would be the month of December, with its holiday time). February I can always handle because the days have lightened so much. And because it's right before March, and March is when spring starts! February is an anticipatory, hopeful month.

And then sometimes we are also lucky to have days like today. The extreme chill has lifted. The air is cold, but bearably so. I didn't have to wear a hat. The sky is deep blue and cloudless. And best of all, the sun has gained so much strength! Standing in the dog park at midday today, I could feel it penetrating my deep winter layers - making me too hot, in fact. That sun is really what gives me the most hope.

And at the dog park, I ran into my friend J. I had a huge crush on J when we were TA's together, five years ago. Huge. Then she got together with K, who is still her partner. Like a good girl, I dutifully turned my crush OFF and didn't think about it anymore. I got together with GF soon after. GF and I and K&J became good friends. K&J had a baby in the fall. Today was the first time I've seen J alone since then. She told me my breakup with GF had made her start to think about her relationship. We talked about the challenges K&J are facing, her concerns about their future. My crush? I remembered it, standing in the sparkling, warm sun talking to J. I fear that it's back. Damn inconvenient crushes! (Sigh - would that this were the only one I have...)

Anyway. For this weekend, I have planned very little! Hooray! As I blogged the other day, I am feeling completely overwhelmed by obligations. And the couple of things that I have planned for this weekend are low-maintenance. Tomorrow night my friend Kim is coming over. I'm going to make mushroom risotto, and chocolate mousse, and we're going to drink this really fine bottle of red wine I've been saving since I defended my PhD. This is the way to go to cut the overwhelm but still see my friends...have them over for in-house decadence.